Witless Passenger Behavior
Here is a list of what must be among the top 10

1. Make your presence known. Refrain from bathing for a couple of days before traveling.

2. Arrive at the airport early. This will allow plenty of time to get tanked up on booze before boarding.

3. Relieve baggage-handling pressures. Carry on all your luggage, no matter how much stuff you are dragging along with you. In fact, the more you can In fact, the more you can carry down the aisle and cram into an overhead compartment, the higher your grade for witless behavior.

4. Board immediately. No matter the location of your assigned seat, try to be first to board so that others have to struggle around you.

5. Get comfortable. Immediately after takeoff, drop your seat to its maximum reclined position. Complete this operation in a rapid, jerky movement so as to mash the knees of the passenger behind you and spill his drink at the same time.

6. Prepare your station. Release your tray table from its locked position and allow it to free-fall until it bounces to a standstill. Repeat this maneuver several times during the flight. If you have children, do not permit them to do this. Instead, instruct them to use the tray as a drum set.

7. Move around a lot. But wait until the flight attendants have rolled service carts into the aisle before leaving your seat.

8. Keep other passengers alert. When returning to your seat, grab hold of the seat back in front of you8 as you plunk yourself down. Maintain your grip until the seat back is cocked, then release quickly so as to launch the passenger in from of you into his tray table.

9. Share the joy. When traveling with young children, bring nothing to occupy their attention during the flight. Instead, allow the little gomers to roam freely through and over the other passengers. Screaming is encouraged.  Oh, and if the little darlings need their diapers changed, don't worry! Just use the adjoining seat.

10. Deplane immediately. Make sure that you are the first person out of his seat as your flight reaches its destination.(Extra credit is awarded for standing before the  plane reaches its gate so that the pilot must wait for you to be reseated.) Then make sure to unload all your junk into the aisles so that other are trapped behind you while you organize your departure.

 

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